Friday, October 9, 2009

H-1 N-won but Faq, We all lost!!

The reason why I 'D'-composed this post is that about 40'brave soldiers' of our our country fell prey to a vegetarian virus and I don't want all this waste to go unnoticed.

"When Pigs fly!!",a powerfully hysterical quote to ever quote. But let me tell you something, they do fly and they fly around everywhere, but on planes.The disease itself proves that humans have that special 'PIG' somewhere inside of them and so they get affected by swine diseases.Swine flu is one of the most exaggerated diseases.Just 40 get affected and there's a lot of 'Oinking' and snorting around for swine flu masks. I mean to say that if so many people can buy swine flu masks at the time of the swine flu outbreak,then why didn't the production of the contraceptive sheath go up when AIDS outbroke? (I gave you a reason when I didn't use the appropriate word for the above product). Could the reason be because of lack of awareness?.....Naa, the people completely aware of what they were doing!!

Whatever the reason may be the production of the product(Hence forth I'll refer to it as 'C') boom boom boomed several decades later and the reason for that is because of the division of the society(You know what I mean!!). Let me elucidate- 1) The first of the Cs were for nymphomaniacs and so women enjoyed it. 2) Gays used it because they wanted to show the others what they were(uncomfortable!!) and 3)Lastly the the lesbians used it because they didn't have any other alternative.Left out were the males . Now, in the 21st century, even men can enjoy specially engineered models (I'm gonna puke). Speaking of 'C's, the only bad news however is that no matter how technologically developed we get, there is still no C which 0.3 can use. Just because you don't know what 0.3 is, doesn't mean you can ignore his libido.Shame on those producers (of Cs not 0.3s).

However scientists even say that they can't even spay 0.3 because they say that {he/she/they/it} is an abomination mixed with something extra-terrestrial and joined together with a clueless glue made of androgynous produce. Wait!!..........I feel pandemonium from somewhere, I'm afraid I'll have to drop the whole topic of AIDS, C's its uses and misuses. Let's go back to swine flu.

Legal matters are not my style, but I do wish NOKIA sues the swine flu mask producers for using the name of the former's mobile phone model N-97 on their masks.If that happens, the production will stop(of masks, not something you have in mind right now!!) and hopefully in the end we'll know the pigs from men, thereby increasing the production of burgers and hot dogs and at the same time control the population (that's like killing 2 birds with one pocket rocket launcher!!).

What are the Symptoms?

Let me tell you something guys and gays, "Don't judge a person by his appearance" BUT when it comes to 'PIGS'(the affected ones), its shoot at sight order for you. I'm not much of a pathologist but the symptoms include cough, cold, head ache, wheezing, rashes, wetting you bed, Alzheimer's,Parkinson's, Turner's and Klinefelter's syndromes, Malaria, Whooping cough and finally AIDS(I hope I'm right). In the end however don't panic IF you start gaining weight,improve your olfactory sense and acquire omnivorous diet habits (A Hint: Eat sludge only after washing it thoroughly).

Did you know that Priyanka Chopra(piggy chops) is the only genuine vmi-vmi to have ever survived the H1-N1 threat.So now we can call her, "The pig who lived".But no, she's not going to any HOG-warts school of bitchcraft and piggery (At least that's what she wants us to think).

So the next time you realize you have a hot dog on your plate, DON'T eat it unless you're a cannibal.Enjoy life and please stay safe from all the pigs around you and also inside you. But for those who think they have swine flu I advice you to go to the following specialist -


Bob Slicer & Sons & Co.

No.1 Swine specialists

"We eat, treat all our patients!"


A word of caution to all the readers, please in your excitement let not this news go up to the moon.