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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The F(laws) Of Motions:

I'm quite sorry to have been away from this page for like 1,2,3,... well, So many days but looking on the bright side, I'm back! But don't start thinking that I missed you! This post that I have for you deals with the most important aspect of life, ME. What I have today is something physicists have never thought of.



To those who had to use pain killers during school days, I must say, get a cyanide pill with you, either take it yourself or pop it into the fattened leech who warms the principal's chair. College to us (ahem! to the likes of 'me') , I must say, has been quite 'Educating'. If you revered the text books as holy, then I must advise you to start WORSHIPING the college walls. No where else can you hear the voice of the people as loud as college halls.This, I say with utmost seriousness, I mean, Seriously, Have you ever given hundred percent thought to what is written on what is handsomely carved beside the board rather than on it? If you haven't DO or DYE (I'll dye your hair pink). If you have then welcome to our group, "The D5rs" {Defiers}, this organization was established in 2010 at the college bathroom of D'.It is a secret society which deals with behavioural analysis of teaching staff and the leeching principals with stupid principles. It has been successful in all it's endeavors so far but hasn't been successful in functioning yet.
The walls teach us everything, be it biology, Mathematics, the principle's number, other numbers, pictographic representation of the hot teachers etc; you feelin' me?

The defiers have three most important "F(laws)" Laws and have been implementing, testing and re-testing them in teacher's lounges, classrooms, restrooms, principle's offices, (the list ends). Here's a little brief on them.

THE F(LAWS) OF MOTIONS:

"Ist:- Law of I'nerd'sia:


Every lecturer has a self adjusting point of rest, which either increases up to an extent and explodes or just looses sanity (apart from steam). The average limit is 120/70 mm.Hg (BP) after which they either burst out in anger or just burst out!!

eg:- Ask a Lecturer the meaning of energy, he'll answer with all his ORAL energy but ask him the meaning of meaning and you'll see a Visual of all the possible and impossible energy transformations in a human (heat,sound,muscular,electrical etc).

Relation between state of i'nerd'sia and distance (d) to be maintained:-

If 'x' is a value for the state of rest then,

x α d

=> x = μd

where μ is the shoe size of the Lecturer.

Exception: If the S.Lr. is relatively mad then the value of 'd' may be undefined!!


IInd:-


The (home)Work received is directly proportional to the (home)work done but indirectly proportional to the square of change in happiness.

HWr α HWd

HWr α 1 / :-)^2

Therefore, HWr α HWd / :-)^2

But this is only a theory as no student (Approved by 'D') has ever been able to bring home an empty "To Do" list.


IIIrd:-


Every action has a reaction, localized and tripled at the point of application which haunts you until you piss your pants off while you try to calculate the cosine component of the force of collision (face-to-ground) or the time of descent of free fall or time of ascent of your heavenward travel or even the momenta of each body part after separation.

This law is applicable to every aspect of life. May it be the choice of college, choice of BF/GF or even choice of Altitude because your actions do not determine your future, your reactions do!!

Conclusions:-


These f(laws) have nothing to do with the present generation of students but with the present generation of Educators. -"A lot is to be learn't from the ants.", they say,"Working day and night, non-stop"! But who the f*** cares about them? They don't have any damn weekend tests to worry about, nor do they have ANY kind of juicing done to determine their pulp's position in the colony.

If 'F' is the freedom we own, and 'xxx' is the burdens we have of education then the formula that best depicts the bonding is

F(s) + xxx(s) ----> F***(g)↑

That's all for Today's "Sillybus",Ok, now scram!
What did you expect, A Diploma?

See Ya'll Later!!