Naughtyfications

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Saturday, January 22, 2011

10% OXY - 90% MORON


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The ancient arts have always been given due importance by the D-Mail. We welcome anything and everything that give US pleasure and U torture. Today, we come in contact with a new variety of Words/Sentences which happen to be rarely used but after this, probably everyone will understand their importance. After this I never want you to forget what they're called, that's right, "OXY-MORONS"!!

This Post is gonna be really quick 'cause, there's only 3, I repeat, Only Three simple steps to create smashing Oxymo's (That's what we'll be referring them as).


Step1 :  


"It Pays to enrich/re-stitch your word power"
Of course a Mammoth Vocabulary is also not required but what's more important is to, always, have a good list of good words. The better the words are, the better will your Moronic, I mean, Oxy-Moronic power, be. Most of the required words can be found at these website: Please DO make a note of them, but DON'T spread the word about them. It's for you and YOU alone:

                          "Vulgar.dic.com,  fOxward.co.fk and  thesaurus-ex.org"


Step2 :


"Keep it Short, Keep it Simple, Otherwise, You just Piss people!


Oxymo's as we know, are better off phrases rather than sentences. That provides a better understanding. Using the same logic as Digestive Tablets; Which contain enough explosives to convert your 'H'CL into 'He'CL (I hope you understood it's effect). But since the tablets are quite diminutive, they instead assist digestion. Atleast, that's what I learn't in school (I never said from teachers :P ). So make it short and sweet. If you're really familiarized with the subject, I suggest you create,Instead of phrases,  Compound Words would be super effective. But for those who're new, Phrases, I do suggest!!


Now would you like to see:

Full Course (5hr toilet pack): "The man was later renamed Pope Hitler the XV"

(Or would you like to have)

Digestive tablet Pack: "Pope Hitler XV"
That's for you to choose!



Step3: 

"Opposites Attract - Loads and loads of Pervs."

In an average (perv etc.) sentence, you find three parts. The 'Subject', the 'Object' and most importantly the 'Reject'.

For Example:

The main aim is to clear the reject and make them a little more 'opposite' to either the subject or the Object.

Here's another Example:
 

Now remove 'Peck' and substitute it with a word most contradictory to the word "Hen", we get:


That's more like it ;)

That's all you need to know about the Oxy-Morons. But don't leave yet, We, at the D-Mail, love to give you something Extra. So just for you, we have a LO-DOWN of Oxymo's:


15) Turkish Turkey

14) Luminous Umbra

13) Hol(e)y Sheath

12) Just-In-Babe-Her

11) British Yen

10) Mon(an)Archy

09) Termino-Genesis

08) 3rd Degree Frostburn

07) Fully Empty

06) Chinese Democracy

05) Steep 'n' Hooking

04) Inflammable Extinguisher

03) RajiniCan't

02) Pro(stitution)-Virgin(ity) 

01) Bikini Formals*

This one is dedicated to all the English Tutors out there, breaking their heads teaching the fine (s)LANG-UsAGE!!