Naughtyfications

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Saturday, February 12, 2011

1.27 Hours


"It's been a day now, without my precious 'one of the, two of a kind' limb. A whole darned day and I'm here stuck in this God-damned wheeled-cot. If at all you were wondering, I wasn't always this way - handicapped, crippled (atleast not while I was sober). The name's Ballston, Baron Ballston. Like any other teen, I too was spirited, adventerous and gifted. I was a charmer, both of chicks and snake, if you know what I mean. Up until that day, that Cursed day which changed my wife, but it could have almost succeeded in changing my life too, if it weren't for my will-power. If you're expecting flash-backs now, all I've got are dim-L.E.D ones. I can remember the incident like it was yesterday (maybe because it was)...."

Jan 9th 2009 (DAY 1) :-

I was at home, after a hot bath doing nothing but playing the game, Counter Stike on my YBox, then out of nowhere, right through the mail-hole on my door, I could see a pamphlet or rather a thin 3 page booklet made of the finest paper recycled garbage can provide. Bending down, I took the thing into my left hand (The right one was paralyzed by the 'Special' joysticks). It was about a certain desolate island at a place called Unfoundland, which was a hotspot for Adventure, hiking, chicks and injuries. That's what was written but all I could make out during that High-time was "Desolate-Chicks-Adventures and - Pain". An instant approval. It was only after I had read the whole booklet twice, that I realised that I was half naked (bottom half) and bending in a manner, professional ballet dancers do (made me look like the Experimental kind :S). Now that picture might intrigue you or even, amuse , but I couldn't say the same about the land-lady on the other side...

DAY 2 :-

Tickets were bought, Plane was fuelled, pilot was emptied (too much lunch) and I was friggin ready. It was me sitting in the largest Airbus and that too which could never possibly crash. It was called 'The Titandick'. Everything was going smooth and it was halfway through the journey when two men and a hot chick, all in black suits and Dark shades (one was camouflaged) approached me. The men pulled me off the seat and the woman banged me (*ahem* with a heavy leather bag).


I awoke in a dark room with light from only a single LED torch. A voice I couldn't find the source of spoke, "We've been expecting you, Neon. I know what you're thinking". at that moment, I was thinking 'Who The F*** are you and which A**-H*** permitted you inside this flight and W(ho)TF is Neon?', but he went on "You must be thinking how I got to you so early?! Yes?! I've been pursuing you since the day I was programmed" then I interrupted "Hey man, I appreciate the ceremonious greetings and all but, I think you got it all wrong " but then he interrupted me "Negative, We are never wrong, you must be bugged, staying in the Mate-Trix for too long" then, pointing to the chick he spoke "We must debug him and then de-fragment his brain". WTF! I thought, but before the impulse could change into a reaction, *ZAP!* and the next thing you know I could feel 70 K.Volts through my nerves instead of the usual 70 m.Volts. "Ok Ok I get it, I'll play along (A**h***)", I said, unable to bear anymore, to which he replied "This is Serious". Frightened, I clarified "No no, When I said play, I meant.." but before I could clarify, he clarified "I understand but I was just introducing my friend here" he pointed his torch at the non-Chick "This is Serious Brown aka Looney and SHE is Vanity and I AM Morphinus". I raised my arm gesturing, a welcome only because I was High from the current.

Then this invisible guy(dark night) began "I have with me two I-Pills - A blue and a Red one. If you choose the red one, It will take you to the Truth, the place where We actually are. As you know right now, we are in a computer programme. But if you choose the blue pill, everything will be the same, nothing will change, you will wake up in your seat. But remember - Choose Wisely!" I could've pissed in my pants due to all that sudden stress, "Damn!" I chose the Red one, expecting the truth but, everything blacked out instead.

I woke up in my new hotel room at Unfoundland and a note was lying in my hand. It read this way :-

" Dear Neon,

              We regret the terrible mistake we've committed. LOONEY aka A**H*** apparently forgot to mention that there was a change in the script. It was the blue pill and not the red one which would get you out of the illusion of Mate-Trix. There is nothing we can do now. Humanity is Doomed...

PS: The pill you swallowed was a real I-Pill. And so we recommend you NOT eat heavy foods for the day.

PPS: 'The Titandick' has crashed, allegedly due to a piece of Iceberg (alleged cousin of the one, that had a huge ship destroyed decades ago) a douchebag passenger took with him, that decided to melt, jeopardizing the balance of the Airbus and also the lives of 1523 people. "

After the read, I ran towards the bathroom, so very fast that, Usain Blot looked like a pregnant snail, hibernating. And the rest of the night was spent there, knowingly or unknowingly I didn't know!


I gotta stop here to keep up the suspense, And to reduce the size of this post (I know you people have got the attention span of  an aye-aye's eye). So That's it for this post, The next part of this story will continue with the third and FINAL day, or is it??! You can catch the next part to this story HERE.