Sunday, February 13, 2011

1.27 Hours: The Remaining 0.27 Hours

If you have no idea what this story's about, then I suggest you read the first part. If you have, and still got no idea then I suggest you get out of your diapers first. Click here to get to know the first part of this twisted tale. We stopped at a point where our protagonist has just arrived at Unfoundland and is all ready to have a blast, Literally or Illiterally, You'll know as you read!! 

(Yesterday) DAY 3 :-

I'm at the Unfoundland Campsite. Here we don't find much of a landscape nor any view I'm proud of. All I could glance at are the marshes, swamps and high hills. There were Mosquitoes, Tse-Tse flies, Tarantulas, lady bugs(in no way were they ladies) and I have no idea whether it was the sects or insects that sucked my blood! I think, out of the 19 campers excluding the Warden(that's what we called the man-in-charge), not even 9 would survive the day. So that's the reason I thought of going on an excursion to the only place presumably Safe, the hills. "Good thing I brought my Do-It-Yourself-Pocket-Bike" I told my friend Benjamin Zipper, who wasn't quite keen on looking at it. From his outward appearance he looked like a 20-Something, but according to him he was way past his retirement(Well, According to me, he's lost it!). So I fixed up my bike and together Ben and I set out for Mt.NeverRest, that's what it was called, I'm yet to know why.

At the foot of the mountain, I set my bike and we geared up for some serious mountain climbing. While we did so, I noticed Ben's gear didn't quite fit him, they seemed to be the wrong size (ie., larger than required). I didn't know why, We ignored that and got climbing. We found a trench halfway and rested there for a while. Five minutes! just 5 minutes of resting and there was unrest everywhere, five bluish-green giants with long hair and gliding squirrels for vehicles came straight towards us, shouting like the cow-asses(cowboys) you see on TV. I took out my camera and purely due to impulse, just clicked a pic of those marvelous Monstrosities. Don't know what happened next, but As soon as I put the camera back into my pocket, those Green-men disappeared. A few munching sounds below us, a few shrieks here and there and then Magnificence! There was an even more humongous Bat-horse-like-flying-reptile getting away with it's mouth full and blue fluids oozing out. Benjamin Zipper, with a cracking voice, told me later that it was the TUROK, or the King of the Flying Asses.

We continued with our climbing, even after the weird incident. I was almost at the summit, a few more feet, but suddenly a little tremor was heard, followed by a larger one and soon everything began to shake. I felt dizzy and for the 4th time blacked out, but just before my eyes closed, I could hear a Baby cry and......

About 20 minutes passed and I opened my eyes, I then realized that, during the commotion I had fallen 13 feet below, into a deep pit. Somehow, I couldn't feel my right arm and to my horror, found out that it was driven deep into the stony walls of the pit and there was nothing to do, absolutely No way I could get my hand out. I shouted out loud "Ben, I'm a little stuck, Save me man, get me out !! " and there was no response, except for a feeble distorted echo which went this way "Ben, I wanna little F***, Shave me, man, Wet me out !! ". After this there was silence except for the ticking of my watch, You can imagine how quiet it was. I threw out my back pack and emptied it, there was nothing I could use, All it contained were two cup-cakes, a long Sub-Sandwich, some chocolate syrup, mayonaise, A dozen sachets of tomato ketchup, candy bars, Chicken Tikka, some lemon chewies and a pack of Potato chips (Hey! I couldn't possibly have expected falling inside a pit like this, could I ?!). I hit the place where my hand was stuck, first with my watch, then with a stone I found lying around, then with my hand and then with the baloney sandwich(desperate measures) but all this was in vain. In anger I finally started kicking the walls. After about ten of these kicks, I felt something move.

This gave me enough encouragement to continue. One hundred and twenty-five powerful-Rockhard-karate-Soccer-Karoccer-kicks and I was SUCCESSFUL, only at breaking my leg. It was atleast an hour and sixteen minutes when a sudden thought occured inside my corroding brain. I just realized that, just that morning I had placed my E-Phone in the back pocket of the jeans I was wearing. I immediately felt for the little gadget, Never was I so happy touching that part of my body, as much as I was at that very instance. three digits and I had the Police headquarters connected. Told them about my little incident and then passed out, possibly because of the Barclay's Tournament I had down there.

Comfort at last! I could feel myself in the luxuries of a bed at a local hospital and thought to myself "Saved from hell for atleast a little more time, Thank God!!". One of the doctors entered the ward and asked me how I felt. "Damn never felt better, Doc" I said. "Sir" he said, "I've got to tell you something Serious". "What is it?" I replied "Did I lose something?" Alas, I realized the very reason I was in the hospital. I apprehensively pulled out the front part of the bed sheet covering me but my hand was still there "Whoo!" I gave a sigh of relief, the Doc interrupted my victory sighs, "During your fall and transport here, our staff had noticed gangrene around your plantaris muscle". "where?" I exclaimed. he calmly stated "Sir, there was an infection in your leg". "AND? AND?" I couldn't bear the suspense, so he continued "And so, We decided to bite it off..I mean..err..Amputate it". Faster than sound I threw away the bed-sheet and found his statement to be 95% true(because, There were no knife marks) and blacked out for the fifth time.....


Of All The Places, In An F***ing Rock !! 

"It's been a day now, without my precious 'one of the, two of a kind' limb. A whole darned day and I'm here stuck in this God damned wheeled-cot. If at all you were wondering...." Oh wait! I already covered that part. So now you know why I, Baron Ballston, am lame(in both meanings). I can't even commit suicide, because firstly there's no possible way I could JUMP, I can't HANG myself because the Ceiling's too far up, and the worst thing is that, I'm Allergic to Cyanide. Damn this cursed life. What tragedy, Oh! the trauma, Oh! the pain......And you're sitting there in front of the screen laughing your ass out when I'm in such a state. One day, It will be my turn. I can see that day, when regeneration will be possible and legal, I'll get hold of your addresses and bite off YOUR legs, then I'LL laugh at you  Hahaha...see you then..Hahahaha...Awwwwwwww Man {Collapse}!!


Written By : Annie Boils
In Memory Of : Benjamin Zipper, who was never found.