Thursday, March 31, 2011

Simon Says

Sunday, March 27, 2011

SadDAMN Hussein.

                        SADDAMN HUSSEIN: THE MAG"NEAT"O 

There are times when, your lecturer will scold you, Times when a teacher asks a question and your not able to answer. These are the times when we have thoughts of killing, butchering, torturing them. Yes, yes Triple yes. There are few who convert thoughts into actions and even more so in the case of above mentioned thoughts. One Example is Bush's dearest friend, No Not Osama, not even Obama. None other than, Saddam Hussein Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti.

According to the US, He allegedly had a WMD, Bush and Dick (Chenney) are correct. He did have a WMD, only in this case WMD stood for 'Wiener of Mass Denizenation'. That's right, I had to invent a new word to explain the Phenomenon (Meaning ecksplained at the end of the post). How else would you explain a SINGLE family living in a palace the size of 45 White houses or 20 times the size of the Queen of England's largest country farm?! #True Story.

The former business partners Don-Old Rammsfield and Dick Chinny bought Saddam to trail, he always kept a diary with him. How GAY was that..!?!? Yet he has a family the size of the population of Ladakh, India. Any-how I got access to this diary so I could 'RESEARCH' on him to write this post, Here's an account from May 21st, 1999.

" Dear Diary,

Today was yet another typical day at work. Let me just say for the record that the idea of a Democratic Government is the dumbest ever. You got a guy like me who needs to Shave twice a day to mix in with pipsqueaks whose testicles haven't dropped yet. Today, before I had to sign some paperwork in office I snuck out into my Assistants' office, S. Exshima Begum and Whoha Khurana where we played a cool game called, "Seven Minutes In heaven." Sure I'm manly as a Mad male gorilla, But I think what does, it is the Authority I

command, 'Both inside and outside the "PLAY AREA." After that I was tired and had lunch and went to sleep, you know the sleep with Closed eyes and no movement at all, that one.
Later today I returned to my Working Pit. While I was returning my motorcade hit my old foe Ali Hassan. I couldn't stand him because he was my competition in school to gain attention of a GUY called Keysore Soze (GAY Alert!!). So, I beat the Holy living shit out of him on the streets and confiscated his phone number.

While at office where my Assistants were tired because of 'Strenuous Physical Activity', I just made them call up Dawood and set up a meeting in the jungles outside of Baghdad. I bought a Six-pack with whatever money I had left in my breast pocket. I will not share further details as I have to get back to killing Kurdish rebels.

Now after that incident you must be craving for more, eh? Especially, all those blessed ones who out-rightly refuse to believe and also in some cases practice that, a 'Marriage' f***ing happens between a MAN and a WOMAN. Anyway, All of you cricket fans out there who have been stricken down with World-Cup fever here's a tail that should, at least I hope so, get your appendix working again.
All of us have heard of the IPL or the Indian Paisa Loss. Well, the truth is that this concept of having a league with 10 teams playing against each other is a concept borrowed from Saddam. he Invented and conceptualized a league called, IPL - Iraqi People's league. Now here are the details.

The league had 4 teams, Baghdad Bombardiers, Mosul Mortars, Tikrit Grenadiers and the reigning champion, Basra Projectilers. Now what happened in these matches was, 2 teams played each other, [Notice there is no "Against" in the sense, "Against" each other]. Each team consisted of 11 people who were selected randomly from the cities' Population and were each given a Nighthawk pistol. Now this pistol consisted of one bullet. If you were able to shoot a member of your opposition with the bullet you would get another one, but if you failed you would be put in an electric sofa and executed. The worse part being, they would tickle you until some stomach pain sets in and then electrocute you. {What a laughable death, literally}
All this, would be over in 20 minutes. Oh!, I almost forgot, now the team which would win with none of their people dead would be given a Machine Gun, the T-240 which used 20cal bullets, with an option of being able to randomly shoot into the crowd, Hence the term T20. {Some knowledge gained, *sigh*}, Talk about Etymology.

This diary provides an inside look on the life and death of Saddam. Surprisingly not only was he a Dick-traitor but also a very good Chemist. I shall share another piece of info later when I buy the copyrights, just an excuse, I have no intention to do so, the global meltdown just hit me. (DAYMN!)

I hope you learned something from Saddam's vivid description here.
In the end, the word Denizenation comes from the word Denizens, a synonym for Population. See, I work so hard, to what end I ask, to what end...!?!

Dasvidaniya, In memory of all Japs who lost their lives and those around the world going to, from all causes. 

Friday, March 25, 2011

Mouse to Mouse?

Sunday, March 20, 2011

What a Wonderful World

I see films So blue,
Serial killers' too,
I see them glued,
Imagining you,
Then I think to myself, "WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!"

I see people's greed,
And their plight,
The dark cursed day,
And deep scarred night.
And I think to myself, "WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!"

True colors of our best buds,
So dirty and sly,
Are also on faces, 
Of People going By,
I hear doctors say, "There's nothing we can do!"
They're really seeking a bribe or two,

I hear parents cry,

Watching their kids grow,
For they'll learn much more,
Than I'll ever know,
Then I think to myself, "WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!"

YES, I think to myself, "WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!"

Friday, March 18, 2011

Birds Bees and Blossoms

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Woody Irony

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Believe IT!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Tit For Tat

Thursday, March 10, 2011

After Irwin

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A Connecting Novel

Friday, March 4, 2011


Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Mafia

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Slow and Steady - My foot!