Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Train of Random thoughts

Before I begin, do not hold me responsible if you guys see a sudden change in subject. I will write whatever comes to mind, right or wrong, mostly wrong I guess.
There is no point in writing this post, but that is exactly what I will do. The reason for the existence of the D-Mail, My friends was summed up in the first line, just replace the word "post" with "blog" and voila, you have the tagline of the next Batman movie, A "Superhero" with no goddamn Superpowers. That was what brought about the idea of starting a blog. The fact that we wanted to do something to change the world (Cough-Cough) is what inspired us. Although in our case, we believe that change can be brought about by criticizing what is right. Yes, that's right, change can be bought about by criticizing the right, not by voting for Barack Obama. A world where everything is legal only after your 18, F*** that people, 16 is the new 21 and these guys are still in Some dysfunctional Time Machine.

I believe that the only remedy to War and the only roadblock to peace is Language. We shall discuss about the different accents and stuff with respect to the English language. Here goes;

  1. Let us start with where English is said to be first spoken, The United Kingdom. Until all the puritans were kicked out of the Kingdom, the English these people spoke, only they could understand. Of course like in every other case there were exceptions. Shakespeare for example, You read one of his Dramas and you shall realize that it is simply, Latin, which has not been translated into English properly. Even now, the English take Pride in their English (Too much pride), they speak in such fashionable accent that let alone difficult to understand, you'll wonder if your in England or in some other Godforsaken country.
  2. The Most developed country, they call themselves. Unfortunately their Vocabulary and Accent have not undergone Development. They, besides being world famous for Preposterous Divorce rates and Infidelity (Stretched to the Limits, *TIGERGATE*) are also famous for a stupid accent (Whaat dee fcuk..!). A grown man here, has the vocabulary of a 3 year old kid. Also, these guys are the dumbest, I think. I was seeing some reviews for an Iphone App which is a Mosquito Repellent and reading those comments the Americans made on the reviews, I peed a little in my pants due to excessive laughing. And then Went and banged my head on the wall for a half hour until 'D' came to tell me that my Dog died.
  3. The Middle East. you must have heard some many things about these guys. That they hate America, They shelter Terrorists...etc. ALL that is TRUE. (:-P). But they're English, especially when women speak, is seriously arousing. I was waiting for some Afghan warlords to meet me at the Burj-Al-Khalifa. I was sipping away some hot coffee, when two burqa clad women were sitting behind me talking English. I was just listening and believe you me, I could not stand up when the warlords came to meet me, if you know what i mean... ;)
  4. The Africans. These people were not taught many of the alphabets when they were taught English. No matter how many times you tell them, they refuse to believe that they're wrong in pronunciation. They will rebut saying just because they are blacker than the rest of the Blacks, I was protesting.
  5. The Chinese you wonder...? Do they even speak English. I have not heard a single Chinese women or guy except with the exception of the Chinese Triad (That too, only in movies) speak in English. They say it's capitalist and hence do not learn the language. The Japanese people.. Aah..these are the only people on the planet who know how to sing when they speak. Try singing this without tune and stuff, "Some things are better left unsaid; Silence is golden." Now go see Youtube video of a Japanese guy/gal speak and you'll know what I speak of.

6) India. The land of 197 recognized languages. Then it should come as no surprise to you that there are I guess, a billion + plus of speaking English in this country. None of the citizens shows a similarity in their accent. You speak to a Tamil guy and you shall be reminded of the letter "y's" existence. You speak to the Malayalis you learn the latest developments in the field of pronouncing words. The North Indians, they always assume that they are in some kind of hurry. A Punjabi shall finish reading out loud a 3 Page letter in less that 1 min. But of course, you will not understand shit, that is entirely another matter.
    7) The Latin World. These people do not know or have not heard of a letter in the alphabet, "s." The thing with these people is that they make English sound so....Sexy. That is the reason they cultivate The world's best looking women, exactly the reason they do not fight wars. The French though, are entirely another world. They speak as if they have all the time in the world. Have they not heard of 2012..!?! Speak faster you dumb dyslexics..!
    Well, That's it from me then. My train of thoughts just derailed and crashed into a bright looking object called the sun, reminding me that it is time to go to sleep. Also, the blog has been signed up for something called the, "" They list the top 500 blogs in humor and other such categories. We have added a "Vote for me" button on top of every post, please vote.

    Looking forward to a more Violent, lawless, despotic, mutinous, anarchistic, heterodox Tomorrow.
    This is 'A' taking leave.