Naughtyfications

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Sunday, April 24, 2011

When Pigs Fly...



N(itrogen) + O(xygen) = NO! conveys the clearest message to Man regarding the usage of air as a medium of transport but does that blow off his curiosity, NO! This post is dedicated to and inspired by FLIGHT, the second fastest mode of transport, next only to Free-Fall!



Tduou Tduou (Pronounced by knocking your tongue on your upper jaw, twice) 10,000 WBC (Way before Christ) was the first alleged man to allegedly fly. What he did was simple yet ingenious for a neanderthal, he joined the pair wings of a Condor and jumped off the Petite Canyon, as it was those many centuries ago, to demonstrate Flight. Though he did fly for a couple of seconds, he finally HAD to take the fastest mode of transport (^^^) to the glorious beyond! This was Science's (s)crap-paper for a better approach to the art of flying. The Wright brothers could not be Rong with their studies and efforts on an aerodynamic and Working plane. Though Wilbur had a lot of urges, it was Orville who actually experienced the "12 Seconds Of Heaven", that's (w)right, the flight had lasted only 12 seconds but poor History students have to study more than 12 pages of Crap. It's like they say, "Ca-Ca Happens!"

As always man wants improvisation and in the next couple of centuries, everything started getting fixed with a gun, Even bikes and Horses (Don't ask me where!!) and so obviously came the era of the Fighter Jets. Killed thousands, castrated ten thousands (Not necessarily through guns) and what not. The planes became bigger and bigger and started involving more people. This generated employment on a large scale in the form of  stewardesses with mini-dresses, Fake pilots and a whole lot of other such manual laborers. I shouldn't be saying more about this but, It seems that almost everyone in India owns a fake pilot's license, not just those who got caught, This has been revealed to us by the Pilot License Organization of India, Chor Bazaar. Rajiv Gandhi, the then PM of India who was the alleged Founder of the Organization (Atta boy, PM!!) flew many a planes in his time, like that of Queen Elizabeth and the likes (or loves).



The future of Flight at this rate will be so, Everyone will have a license irrespective of Caste, Creed, Gender, Breed, Age etc. Kindergarteners will have to test-pilot the Boeing 747's while adding 7+4+7. Buses and trucks will be replaced by a more economical transport, The Air-Bus. And Cock fights will give way to DOG-Fights (The overhead kind). Everyone will have a plane and Home emergency kits will have spare parachutes and equal number of spare wings. Life will be moving at a really swift pace. In the Future I envisage Flight as, not only an ambition but a passion and a hobby. I Have A Dream....